Pillow Creases

As I look at the emptiness of a bed we once shared. I think of all the intimate, sarcastic, goofy words we once said. The prayers, the laughter, the arguments, the bickering, the kissing, the moaning, that feeling we once had. Was it all just a dream? What have we become? No longer are words shared, thoughts brought to the table vanished. All I see is a cold, blank stare. Do you no longer care?

Before I drift into another restless night, I look upon the pillow you laid your head upon each night. I look at each individual crease, count them and realize it's the same number of weeks we shared together. Laying next to each other with thoughts never conveyed through words but with actions. Maybe your reaction was because I never had the right thing to say at the right time. I managed to allow your departure, your escape to the world of maddening vultures and predators looking for an attempt to take your love for granted. Maybe that was I, but never realized it until you walked away.

My eyes begin to progressively get heavier as I grab your pillow one last time closer to my face. I smell you. The scent of your perfume, the scent of your shampoo, that scent that words could not describe. Bringing back the memories of discussions. How are future would pan out. Where we would be in 20, 30 years from now. That old couple cuddling along the sofa watching another movie. Or sitting on the porch holding hands rocking back and forth enjoying the company of our grand kids playing amongst the green grass in our yard. These thoughts are no longer possible, but were probable if for just the moment in time we spoke of them.

Frustrated, alone, but drift into a land of unknown with that burned thought of you embedded in my mind. The photograph of your face that shall... That shall never erase from dreams. If there's no hope to have you in my reality, I can at least dream of what we once were...